The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
