After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We had sex on a dog bed..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
