I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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