I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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