just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
