Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
