Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
