marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
