Apparently you make a good broom.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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