69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize