Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
