I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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