I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
