I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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