Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There's always time for handjobs
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
