And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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