He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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