oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
