I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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