no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
