we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
