So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
