JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
