He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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