What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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