i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
