did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
