he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
