but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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