I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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