you traded sex for a burrito?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
