3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
