nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
God, I missed his penis.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
