Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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