Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
