Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
