Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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