then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
