I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
