so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
