u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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