Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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