She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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