Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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