i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
