please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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