these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
