Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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