fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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