We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
